Published on | by redblob
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I work at an airline where, until recently, I had to spend half the morning ramming my fingers into a fingerprint scanner to clock in.
It was a major drag. I’d rush to work on my scooter, run inside and… spend the next 10 minutes repeatedly stabbing the little machine as a queue of muttering pilots and ground staff slowly formed behind, waiting.
The reason? Psoriasis. Instead of nicely ridged digits, I had fingers with skin that looked like ham, and you can’t scan a smooth piece of delicious ham.
When I joined, I had to go to Human Resources to get my prints taken, and that was an ordeal in itself.
The only two fingers that the machine accepted was the middle finger on my right hand, and my left pinky. So every time I clocked in, I had to either flip the bird or pop my pinky like some kind of aristocrat.
Eventually I got so tired of wasting half my life with the scanner that I requested my own separate pass code. Out of 700 people, I was one of the lucky few to get one, and probably one of the only employees with psoriasis.
The workaround was great – until last week, when the system went down and I had to go back to the dreaded scanner.
Welcome back, prints
I fully expected to stand there, once again finger-butting the machine, but that didn’t happen. It worked the first time!
That’s right, flakers, my 1 in 7 billion prints are back! I won’t be able to commit robbery or evade the police as easily, but its nice having those little personal lines again.
I had quite extensive plaque psoriasis on my fingers and palms, but it is 85% better now, and the funny thing is that I didn’t even notice. They just creeped back, one sneaky ridge at a time.
I can’t pin the recovery down on any one factor – it’s a combination of diet, anti-inflammatory supplements like turmeric, and good, natural soap.
Oh, and gloves. I bought a multipack of 200 recently, like the Dynarex ones here. Every time I have to do any any scrubbing or nuke the toilet, I snap them on and think of my little protected stubs. Think of your stubs!
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