Parkinson

Fighting Parkinson’s, and the final surrender

Today is Friday, June 11, 2021, and I am sitting in my office in Warren, Oregon. Eleven years ago today, it was Friday, June 11, 2010, and I was sitting in my living room in Tampa, Florida. I would like you to join me there.

Here is a brief background leading up to that morning. At the beginning of June, 2010, I started seeing my “temporarily lost-to-Parkinson’s abilities” returning day by day, and I was receiving some symptom relief as well. Each day, I was feeling better, moving better, and seeing the symptoms diminish.

It was an exciting time. I felt full of confidence, and on June 9, 2010, I wrote a blog post listing the “quantifiable results” from doing the Recipe. And then, nothing changed for two days after that. Which brings us to sitting in my living in Tampa on Friday, June 11, 2010.

I was a bit confused about each day seeing great healing and then nothing new on the 9th and 10th. I went back to review my June 9, 2010 blog post and I noticed that I had written this: “I am not out of the woods with fighting Parkinson’s. It will be a life-long battle, but I am making progress. On a sliding scale, I am on the plus side, beyond the 50% mark, between Parkinson’s and not-Parkinson’s.”

Then it hit me. In staring at these words, I asked myself, “Where is the guy who knows he will be fully recovering from Parkinson’s? How is he now the guy describing his Parkinson’s as a life-long battle?” And then it came to me. 

Many people had been so negative and so disbelieving of my fighting Parkinson’s without medications and saying I was going to have a full recovery, that I had fallen back into my old “safe-place” habit when faced with potential disapproval and conflict. I had become willing to keep Parkinson’s to my detriment just to make the other people happy because if they were already negative toward me just with what I was doing in my treatment, how negative would they act toward me when I fully recovered.

With that awareness, I realized that I needed to be the real me and, by doing so, it would make me vulnerable. However, I also realized that being vulnerable was necessary to finish my recovery. I knew I would need to be vulnerable in all I did in life, fearlessly facing life as my real self. 

The fear of being the real me is what had been holding me up. The more I resisted being absolutely vulnerable, being genuinely me, the more physically miserable I had become in the last month leading up to my recovery. And through that physical misery, I let go.

I surrendered fearful me. I awakened to the truth that the person who I had become was not the real me, the essence of me from birth. He was the “who I had become” based upon what I thought others expected from me. I had allowed people outside of me to influence the script of my life.

To be authentically me, I decided that my script of life going forward would have to be whatever rolled out in front of me, trusting and accepting that if it was rolling out in front of me then it was necessary in my life. I needed to accept life as it was and deal with it in the moment, moment after moment.

That night, I added the following, which was done at the end of my usual meditations and prayers before going to sleep on:

“Dear God, I surrender my ego to you. I surrender my attachment to my Parkinson’s Disease to you. I am not afraid anymore. I no longer fear Parkinson’s. I no longer fear the scorn I may face by being cured from a disease the experts say there is no cure. I no longer fear the people who may say I was misdiagnosed or that I faked having the disease. I am surrendering my ego to you, that part of me that felt I needed to remain attached to Parkinson’s because the experts say once you have Parkinson’s you always have Parkinson’s. I am forgetting about my old self (Parkinson’s) and stepping into my new self (No Parkinson’s).”

On Saturday morning, June 12, 2010, I awoke with the remaining symptoms gone and I was fully restored to 100% of my physical abilities. Tomorrow will be eleven years from that occurrence.

One last thing I would like to share with you. When the full recovery arrived, it was part of the flow of life. Parkinson’s was a symptom that I had gotten out of balance in the flow of my life, and my recovery was a reflection that I had gotten back into balance.

A big part of being able to finish my recovery was this understanding of the flow of life. I already has shifted to a way of life of acceptance of what arrived in my life, surrender (that I was not owed an explanation for what arrived in my life), and gratitude for my life and everything in it. I already had shifted from a judgmental mind to a compassionate heart.

I was ready, I was healed, and upon letting go of the final life-long issue I had carried, “making the other people happy to my own detriment” out of fear of potential conflict and reprisal, I let go and received the blessing of my full recovery.

To show you that I knew even then that the recovery was part of the flow of life, and that life continued to flow, here is what I wrote announcing my full recovery:

Friday night before I went to bed, I meditated on this realization and let go. On Saturday morning, I was symptom free. On Sunday, I cleaned the garage. It was the first time I ever have viewed cleaning the garage as a blessing.

My friends, thank you for sharing in the last morning the day before my full recovery. I am grateful to be hanging out with all of you. Tomorrow, Sally and I will have a small celebration of eleven years cured of Parkinson’s. On Sunday, who knows? Maybe I will find myself cleaning the garage….

I feel that every single one of you has the opportunity to heal from Parkinson’s. Please know that you are special simply because you exist. We are a world-wide family of warriors and friends, so nobody ever is alone.

You can do this!

You are worth it!!!

All my best,

Howard

Note: Don’t forget, I am providing a special offer of a discounted cost for Parkinson’s Coaching if you sign up by the end of June. This discount also is available to all who I am coaching when you sign up for your next cycle of coaching.  Click here to learn more about Parkinson’s Coaching, including how to sign up for the Parkinson’s Coaching Package with the special offer.


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