Lupus

And we got nothing to be guilty of…

And we got nothing to be guilty of…

Now that I’ve made my grand entrance back into the blogging world, I guess I got some serious explaining to do. Where the hell have I been over the last 10 months?

Ironically, as I was blogging this time last year on the perils of being a 37 y/o divorced, infertile, nippleless woman living with several incurable diseases whilst trying to date after two disastrous relationships, I was falling in love. With two people.

It’s true.

I’m in what feels like the only healthy romantic relationship I’ve had in my adult life, with, quite frankly, the most wonderful, kind, hilariously funny, loving, patient man I’ve ever met.

Not counting my Dad!

I digress.

I’m happy. And let me state for the record, it’s not because of a man, it’s because of ME. It took a ton of fucking work, a lot of tears, anger, remorse, sadness, fear, and thousands in EMDR therapy, but I’m here to tell you it was all worth it. It’s not all puppy dogs and ice cream, obviously life, lupus, social unrest, global pandemics, and my old demons try to wedge their way back into my happiness, but, I’ve finally begun to love and appreciate the human I’ve become.

When you spend your life living in fear and literally hating your body and everything about yourself, it’s impossible to ever truly let someone else in. What’s that old trite saying? You can’t love someone else until you love yourself?

Well, fuck me, it’s true.

It was difficult to stay away from my blog, but I needed to. I didn’t want to get caught up in documenting ALL THE THINGS, but actually live and breathe in the moments and enjoy them.

With the exception of a few scathing blogs about situations that occurred between my ex-husband and me, I try to keep my personal life details out of here, and I plan on keeping it that way.

But for those of you who wondered if that 37 y/o divorced, infertile, nippleless woman living with several incurable diseases ever found someone?

I did.


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