I have been lost in exploration lately.
Rather, I should say I wander, not simply that I am lost.
This blog has been an unforeseen gift to me, allowing me to look back at my thoughts years ago, and understand where I’ve come from. To better understand my mistakes, and to live better than I have. I have learned to strengthen the bonds near me, and now I should seek the same connection with others. I value every bond I share, and if I am to truly know myself I must share more personal moments with friends.
If I have not extended a hand to you yet, I implore you to seek me out. Because I appreciate you as a friend and I want to experience something you truly love with you. A place or thing that represents who you are, your happy place, if you will.
In the same spirit, I have a few weeks remaining on my Disneyland pass, (basically the 15th of December), and I want to share my happy place with you. So that I may know and experience my favorite place with you. I realize I may never go again after this. There are a lot of factors involved with this reality, the price increase is part of it, but there is another hurdle.
For the last 4 years, I have had a steadily rising cumulative probably of death. To say I’m beating the odds isn’t entirely true, I’m simply very fortunate. As I presently stand, without any treatment my probability of death reaches about 94% by this time next year.
This isn’t some weird dying request or whatever, the odds of me living and getting cured are pretty great as far as I’m concerned. I simply have reached a point in my life, where I cannot abide weak bonds. If I am to grow, I must humble myself to learn from and better understand every soul around me.
On another incredibly personal subject, I am a Deistic Religious Scientist. And the last few months have affected me deeply on a spiritual level. I don’t talk about my faith, mostly because there isn’t a lot to talk about. Religion has always fascinated me, the tenants, mysteries and what amounts to articles of faith. My faith compels me to understand all forms of belief, and to understand my friends through their faith. It’s an aspect of my faith I regrettably stopped paying attention to after my first treatment.
I will also take a small bit of time to explain my faith, so that you may know me better. Most people do not know of either aspect of my faith, since they are incredibly obscure and I so rarely talk about them.
As a Deist, I find the form of religious science to be my truth. I am compelled to understand the bonds of faith that exist within my friends, so that I may better understand them and my own faith.
As a Deist, I find validity and wonder within all forms of faith. Because the core understanding within Deism is simply a belief in God, the personal relationship of a religion is up to the Deist as an individual.
It is ever present in my life, I don’t usually talk about it because I’m actually always talking about it. It is my way of life. I do not invoke the name of God when it’s implied so frequently. As a gesture of gratitude to my faith, the symbol of my will bears resemblance to the symbol of Religious Science.
|Left: Symbol of unity from Religious Science. |
Right: V of Acceptance and Struggle: HCVME
If you are a new friend, or someone I’ve yet to meet Email me: [email protected]
And of course, if you need to talk to someone about Hepatitis C(HCV) and you’re not sure where to turn I’ll do everything I can to help.
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